The unimpressive airport bar where I’m writing would make for an excellent romantic setting if this were a ’90s rom-com and I were a well-liked (relatable) Hollywood superstar. To my dismay, though, I am who I am, the year is 2021, and to date, not even one mythically attractive stranger has approached me to inquire about either the new Sally Rooney or my astrological sign.
Which means that the proper “meet-cute” may be extinct in the age of algorithmic romance. If you’re unfamiliar, a typical “meet-cute” is exactly what it sounds like: A chance meeting between two strangers that develops into something amorous is, well… adorable.
It ultimately comes down to the incredibly unusual act of just being in the right place at the right moment, as demonstrated by decades’ worth of romantic movies and certainly the archives of Craigslist’s “Missed Connections.” This practice was accepted as the norm for a long time, however it is no longer the norm. We utilize the Internet now.
We all have access to a variety of pre-screened, local suitors at all times thanks to the explosion of dating apps currently accessible. Efficient? Yes. Cinematic? less so That’s not meant to indicate your typical Hinge date can’t really change your life, though: Numerous people have formed enduring, passionate relationships through online forums.
According to Lee Wilson, a licensed relationship coach, “We don’t have any evidence claiming that couples who meet through apps are less successful than those who meet more naturally out in the world.” “In my 20 years of counseling couples, I’ve discovered that the origin narrative doesn’t really matter.” Even yet, it appears that our dating-related rhetoric is still behind our actual MOs.
Consider this: When you meet a new couple, the typical first thing you ask is, “How did you meet? No matter how swiftly the dating scene changes, we seem unable to shake our ongoing obsession with poetic, accidental beginnings. Wilson also thinks that this might be an error. Maybe it’s time to think about rewriting the story of first meetings, he suggests.
We should all think of our first dates, or other significant early experiences, as our genesis stories if apps are a necessary evil. Or, at the very least, maybe we should resist the urge to ask a couple about their meeting circumstance and instead come up with a more insightful, current inquiry.
