You and your partner are both conscious of how deeply you care for one another. Additionally, you are aware of how to establish the connections you want to and how to effectively argue (or at least how to practice!). Why then does the same debate keep occurring repeatedly? Especially when one or both of you are under stress, you are familiar with the conflict that never ends. They can be bothering you about how much time you spend on your phone, or they might be whining about how your partner has yet again forgotten to go to the grocery shop. Whether it’s a tiny disagreement or a full-blown dispute, it doesn’t enable you to support each other, be there for each other, or be as happy as you can be together. Many marital problems stem from a lack of communication, but certain conflicts can lead to lingering resentment if you or your partner do not feel heard or listened to.
Have a formal meeting with each other to discuss any issues, even if it sounds silly. Trying to express hurt feelings before going to bed or bringing up other issues when your partner forgets to unload the dishwasher are a recipe for misunderstanding and feeling ignored. Make time to sit down, put your phone away, and discuss your feelings for the past week. Give each other an opportunity to speak whenever possible, and if you find it difficult to do so without getting irate, try having the disagreement in a public place like a park or restaurant.
