Although in theory children are under less stress or obligation, this is generally not the case. Children could feel pressure from both family and friends to fit into specific roles. Some of the demands we make on our kids are necessary and critical for their character development. But there are times when we might demand that our kids live up to our standards. We have the capacity to anticipate their behaviour to reflect our own.
It’s easy to give in to any of these pressures that we as parents could put on our kids. So let’s consider how we might encourage our kids to continue being the wonderful people they already are. The most crucial element is our presumption that our kids will be like us. This is relevant in a wide range of circumstances. Are you an extrovert with an introverted child? That young person will need to have a very different perspective on the world than you have. Do you also have a disorganised, daydreaming child? We must address the situation in a way that acknowledges and accommodates the difference even though it is obvious that this child has to learn how to be more organised. Do you have a really type-A child and a very relaxed parenting style? We must be prepared to let the child behave naturally and get his act together.