For the sake of your marriage, it is more important to agree with your partner regarding your in-laws than it is to agree with them. For many couples, learning how to develop connections with the in-laws can be difficult. It might even be a joint effort between two people.
The Washington Post advice columnist Carolyn Hax writes frequently about in-law issues. “In-laws with foreign habits and customs are expected to act as family and frequently have a close impact on a marriage. On both parties, this may feel intrusive and elicit a threat response.
In some family systems, an in-law is warmly accepted as a kind of equal family member, according to Washington, D.C., couples therapist LuAnn Oliver. The in-law may play a less significant role in other systems relative to family members. She reassures, “Neither is right or wrong, but it helps to have some awareness.”
The effects of toxic in-law relationships can be lessened by awareness, which can assist you and your partner in fostering good ones. In Matlab, Bangladesh, older women who lived with their daughters-in-law had significantly higher death rates than women of the same age who did not, according to a 2021 research Trusted Source.
Researchers came to the conclusion that younger women may have neglected the health of their older mother-in-laws due to years of stressful situations and in-law abuse. It’s not necessary that your connection with your in-laws has this “impact.”
You might be able to put your relationship with your in-laws in perspective, though, if you are aware of common underlying difficulties.